But I didn't
by GGADDICT22
Summary: It's the night of Lily and Rays first date.But she still has feelings for a certain RFR dj what happens if he showed up. Please Read and Review Trily.


Lily stood near her window looking glumly out at the storm raging beyond her window pane. The wind whistled blowing her curtains as the rain slanted down. A perfect mirror of her own feelings. Placing her head against the cool blue plaster walls closing her eyes and trying to calm the nervous feeling swirling inside of her.

Tonight would be her first date with Ray. That still sounded so surreal. The thought should make her giddy and do a stupid girly giggle. But in all honesty all she felt was dread and apathy. The words Ray and date didn't really mesh. This was after all, the guy who used to pull her braids, the guy who's tree house she used to hide out in when her parents fought, the guy who had killed her hamster. Could she really add first boyfriend to that long list of titles as well? She has so much history with Ray, maybe to much to ever really date him.

When she used to think about the guy she wanted to end up with the answer had all ways been without question him but ever since that night in the studio when Travis and she... had. Ugh she didn't need to think about that right now. Not wanting to let the butterflies she felt for him, cloud her mind. And besides Travis had never pursued anything (besides the kiss) other then friendship with her so why should she think of him any other way. Because she still caught him occasionally giving her this look. This perfect forlorn puppy dog stomach flipping educing look.

And sometimes right before she fell asleep when her mind began to wander slipping in and out of that deep slumbrous sleep. She could still feel his lips on hers... and the way he held her, like she was the most important thing in the world to him. Strikingly cliché as it seemed it was what she needed when she was entering a whole new world, putting out her music and hoping like hell that people would like it, she had been standing on such shaky ground trying to break into the record industry. All the fears that she had kept well hidden he had flushed out and promised with just one kiss that he would be their to catch her when she fell. But little had she known then that the only thing she had fallen for that night was him. She felt truly safe then...but what did it matter now? Whatever spark she had felt that night obviously hadn't been reciprocated or she wouldn't be getting ready for a date with another guy. Ray think of Ray she reminded herself.

She brushed the thoughts of Travis from her mind as best she could. and tried to get herself psyched up for the nights affairs.

Brushing her long blonde hair back she pinned it up. It just didn't feel right. None of it did. She sighed then let it down. She put on a pair of ripped jeans a light blue tank top layered over a green one a pair of black flip flops and silver dangling earrings. Plastering a fake smile on her pretty face while she applied make-up.

Finally all the preparation for their "date" were done Lily lay back on her bed hoping that the whole situation would just go away. Thinking about how she got asked out on this date. She slipped into the dreamlike state of a flash black :

_We had all just been sitting their at our little table at lunch talking and laughing about the latest Waller escapade_. _It had seemed like a normal day same people carrying on aimless conversations and keeping the schools rumor mill well oiled._ _When suddenly Ray cleared her throat and as if on cue Robbie and Travis got up to leave making hasty excuses. So we kept the conversation going although something seemed slightly amiss. I smiled at Ray hollowly and He laughed one of those awkward nervous laughs. I was a little scared at this point what did Ray know that I didn't and what was up with him? He then turned to face me a hint of mirth in his eyes. _

"_Hey Lil, you um wanna to umm go on a date with me on Friday after the show?" Ray blurted suddenly. It was completely out of no where it felt as if all the air in my lungs had been forced out suddenly. I couldn't think. I couldn't even comprehend the enormity of it all. My mind reeled what do I say. What could I say? I then bit my lip unconsciously until it hurt. Forcing me to realize that the answer that came out of my mouth would change the course of our relationship forever. I felt like my brain and my mouth weren't connected. I heard myself say "Ummm ok." and thought STUPID what do you think your doing. I needed to get out of their that's how I delt with everything so I fled. mumbling something about needing to talk to Parker and ran off. Blonde hair flying behind me. _

What was my problem why was I so melancholy? Travis. It had always been Travis. As if to save her any further thoughts on the uncomfortable subject of him she heard the doorbell ring.She yelped a little then not expecting the sudden intrusion into her thoughts. She shook her head in disbelief.

Sighing a deep tired sigh. Smooth real smooth Randal she mocked. She smacked the heel of her hand against her fore head and shook her head willing the whole ordeal away. Wanting more then anything to not have to go through with this to not have to think about it anymore.Then hearing the bell ring Lily begrudgingly got off her bed and strode purposefully striding towards the door smoothing her clothes down, pulling on her light blue zipper sweatshirt to use for the rain, and plastering a hollow mirthless smile on her face.

She heard the bell ring again and wrenched the door open. Getting ready to chastise Ray for being so impatient and that beauty like hers took time. But stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who it was at the door. (This is the time when you get to feel really smart) It was unbelievable to surreal to be true because standing their at the door was Travis. Looking absolutely lost. And try as she might she couldn't completely suppress the warm fuzzy feeling she got when she saw him. Lily could tell something was wrong he seemed distracted and nervous.

"Come in. Come in." She said. Completely confused as to why he would be here. She led him to her couch and gestured for him to sit. Lily sat down next to him and smoothed down her hair. A nervous habit acquired after years of akward conversations. He sat down stiffly fidgeting with his hand and obviously looking anywhere but at her.

"Travis what's wrong." she asked concernedly a bit afraid of what his answer would be. Suddenly feeling nervous herself she didn't know what it was but she knew what ever it was going to come out of his mouth was going to be important.

"Lil, you and I when we and I still and you can't. Ray and you I mean..." Travis babbled.

She placed her finger to Travis's lips and said "Slow down your rambling. Whatever it is it'll be ok." They locked eyes then and she smiled at him cautiously trying to get rid of the akward tension in the room.

"Don't go out with Ray tonight." Travis finally got out. My head whirled and I couldn't breath what the hell did that mean. How was I supposed to respond to that

"Why" I choked out tightly.

"Because I...I still I..."Travis looked at her. It seemed so surreal. But then, He slowly moved his hand to the back of her neck and drew closer to her. Giving ample time for Lily to stop him and crushed his lips on hers. She kissed back without hesitation without thought. It was insane it was to fantastic to be real. So she kissed back with all the pent up passion she'd kept hidden or ignored for the past year.

Stopping suddenly filled with the uncontrollable urge to finally explain his actions.. "Lil, I've liked you since I first came to Roscoe. And that night when we kissed I felt more for you then I had any other girl. And I got scared and I bolted. Comforted with the thought that you reciprocated my feelings I waited. But then the other day when Ray told me he was finally going to ask you out I freaked and didn't know what to do." Travis said rushedly. She had never know him to be that out of control of a situation. He always seemed so in control and stoic about everything. "And then you said yes and I thought my god she moved on so tonight I just had to come and tell everything and hopefully win you back." He looked into her eyes again looking ashamed.

She smiled knowingly at him. The consequences of her actions would be dire either way. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Screw the consequences she thought. Being the one to reinitiate the kiss. Letting her actions speak for her. Pressing her lips firmly against his knowing all the while how wrong it was. She shouldn't be doing this, she was hurting Ray by laying here on this couch making out with one of her best friends. She should be telling him it was time for them both to move on, telling him that he had had his chance and she gave up on him. But she didn't. And just like before her brain wasn't quite connected to her body.

When she felt his grip tighten and his tongue beg for entrance into her mouth, she let him. Then her hands rose to his face and they slowly lowered onto the couch. His hands drew to her shirt and began to pull it up. Both completely lost in the moment. They were pulled apart by the twist of a door knob. There mouths agape in shock. They lay there frozen him overtop her hand on her stomach, her arms snaked around his neck, both looking disheveled.

"Hey Lil," Ray said entering the door he still had not looked her way as he shrugged out of his jacket. He smiled and she noticed in his left hand was a bouquet of lilies. He then turned to her grinning sheepishly and when he saw the position she was in his mouth dropped open and he froze keys still in his hands dropped to the floor with a hollow clink.

"Ray I can explain..." Lily started as Travis slowly climbed off of her.

"Explain what Lil? Why you were making out with one of our best friends? What possible explanation could their be?" Ray said. He then scooped up his keys wrenched his jacket of the counter and stormed off into the night. Slamming the door with a resounding thud.

A/N this is my first RFR fic it may just be a one shot depending on how many reviews I get Hint hint I want the honest truth people and remember reviews make my world go round and chapters come out faster. So PLEASE REVIEW!


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